"Toxic Masculinity" – Or Misunderstood Masculinity?

Contents:

1. Psychological Foundations: The Strength in Stoicism

2. Biological Realities: Testosterone Isn’t the Enemy

3. Evolutionary Context: The Protector-Provider Archetype

4. Social Influence: The Lost Initiation

5. A Broken System: Economic Pressure and the Unfathered Psyche

6. Digital Humiliation: Where Masculinity is Mocked

7. Sexual Disillusionment: Porn, Promiscuity, and the Lost Meaning of Intimacy

8. Father Hunger and the Digital Father Figures

9. The Soft Male Ideal: Why Culture Fears the Warrior

10. Strong Men Make Safe Women

11. Cultural War: Who Benefits from Weak Men?

12. Conclusion: The Rebirth of Masculinity

Introduction: What Are We Really Saying?

This article is explores the deep confusion, resentment, and silence surrounding masculinity today. It aims to bring nuance where there’s been oversimplification, compassion where there’s been contempt, and structure where there’s been collapse.

Our goal is simple:to challenge the current narrative around masculinity, reframe what it means to be a man in modern society, and offer a path forward grounded in honour, strength, and purpose.

Because at its core, the conversation about men isn’t just about men.It’s about the very foundation of families, communities, and the future of civilisation itself. When men are broken, aimless, or erased, entire structures begin to collapse - from the protection of the vulnerable to the preservation of meaning, legacy, and social cohesion.

The phrase "toxic masculinity" is thrown around often - sometimes with reason, but more often as a blunt tool used to shame or suppress certain male behaviours. Assertiveness becomes aggression. Stoicism becomes emotional repression. Leadership becomes domination.

But masculinity is not the enemy. It's time we ask: are we rejecting the shadow of masculinity - or masculinity itself? Because if we continue erasing its virtues, we risk creating generations of men who are disconnected from their nature, aimless, and ashamed of their instincts.

Masculinity, in its highest form, is not toxic. It's protective, generative, and deeply necessary.

"Men are the builders of civilisations, but they are also the destroyers."  - THE SALIENTS®

We are living through a time of institutional decay and narrative collapse. When the centre cannot hold, we need strong individuals - particularly strong men - capable of bearing weight, creating order, and restoring integrity. Masculinity has become one of the unspoken truths of this collapse - understood implicitly, yet publicly denied.

If we continue pretending masculinity has no place, we risk losing the very qualities we turn to in times of crisis.

Before we dive deeper, it’s worth clarifying two terms:

"Toxic masculinity" refers to a cultural narrative that blames masculine traits—such as dominance, stoicism, and competitiveness—for harmful behaviour. But the phrase often fails to distinguish between masculinity itself and the misuse of it.

"Red pill" ideology, originally a metaphor fromThe Matrix, has been co-opted by online spaces to refer to awakening to "the truth" about gender dynamics, modern society, and power. While some red pill communities offer genuine critique of dating, social media, and feminism, others devolve into resentment, nihilism, and dehumanisation - especially toward women.

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1. Psychological Foundations: The Strength in Stoicism

"A man who masters himself is free from the chains of chaos." - THE SALIENTS®

Men are often criticised for being emotionally unavailable or closed off. But stoicism - when understood correctly - is not about bottling emotions; it's more aboutemotional regulation. Psychology recognises that people cope differently. Men, on average, have a natural preference to internalise stress and solve problems through action rather than verbal expression.

Consider a firefighter running into a burning building. Do we want him breaking down emotionally, or do we want him focused and composed under pressure? This form of psychological resistance to emotionality is a hallmark of traditional masculine energy - and it's invaluable in crisis.

Instead of pathologising this trait, we should be teaching young menhow to process emotions in a way that aligns with their natural wiring. Journaling, physical activity, or mentorship might serve them better than being told to open up in a way that feels unnatural.

This is also where traditional talking therapy may fall short. Much of the modern therapeutic model is oriented around verbal exploration and emotional disclosure - an approach that aligns more closely with feminine psychological styles. But in contrast to women, many men don’t process emotions by talking - they process by solving. They need space to act, structure to improve, and challenge to grow. Telling them to simply 'talk about it' without giving them a mission can feel hollow or even emasculating as it conflicts with our nature.

That said, we must also be cautious not toidealise emotional suppression in the name of strength without valid higher purpose.Repressing feelings under the guise of stoicism, or confusing entitlement and control with masculinity, is one factor that leads to emotional harm.

The ultimate goal is integration: to develop men who can hold their ground in fireand open their hearts in stillness. That is what makes an elite man.

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2. Biological Realities: Testosterone Isn’t the Enemy

"Testosterone is neither angel nor demon - only fire. And fire must be trained, not tamed." - THE SALIENTS®

Average testosterone levels in men have beensteadily declining over the past several decades. This is a societal issues camouflaged as a health issue. Testosterone is not merely a hormone tied to aggression or libido; it fuels ourdrive, risk-taking, competitiveness, and innovation. When this drive is missing or diminished across generations, it begs the question:

What happens to a society when the very fuel that powers ambition and courage is slowly extinguished?

Low testosterone impacts confidence, motivation, mood, and even a man's willingness to challenge himself. A generation of men lacking in this core biological fire may become passive, indecisive, or unable to bear long-term responsibility. Society, in turn, loses out on builders, protectors, and pioneers.

We must start seeing hormonal health not as an individual issue - but a cultural one. If we want to revive masculinity, we must also revive what fuels it, and ensure it’s being redirected into somethingworthy.

These traits, when left unguided, can become destructive - but when channelled with purpose, they lead to innovation, leadership, and strength.

For example, the same drive that makes a young man want to win at sports can be redirected into business, martial arts, or personal mastery. It's not testosterone that's the issue - it's theabsence of guidance and initiation.

In tribal societies, older men would mentor younger men, helping them master their impulses. Today, with fatherlessness at an all-time high and mentorship lacking, many young men are left to figure it out alone.

The result? Frustration, addiction, violence, or passivity. Masculine biology needsboundaries and vision, not condemnation.

I reiterate - we need to stop requiring masculine traits to be filtered through femininity before they’re accepted.Aggression, for instance, is only praised when used in defence of others - but never as a raw, motivating energy. Yet that same aggression, when given structure, has built businesses, protected nations, and defended families. And when that aggression goes unmentored, it doesn't just vanish - it misfires. Women, in particular, often become the victims of this force. From domestic violence to predatory behaviour, many of society's darkest male impulses stem not from masculinity itself, but from masculinity that was never taught to serve, protect, and restrain itself with honour.

 

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3. Evolutionary Context: The Protector-Provider Archetype

"Men were not designed for comfort - they were designed for challenge."  - THE SALIENTS®

Evolution shaped men for hunting, defending, and enduring. The traits we associate with masculinity - strength, competitiveness, focus, risk-taking - were vital for group survival. Whilst modern society gravitates towards individualism, these traits are still relevant. 

Look at natural disasters or acts of terror - more often than not, it’s men who run toward danger. First responders. Military personnel. Bodyguards. It is deeply ingrained within a man's DNA to fight for a cause, it's almost an itch that men are just waiting for to be scratched. This is anarchetype our society still depends on, even if it no longer honours these men. 

Suppressing this energy doesn’t erase it - it redirects it. A man who is not a protector may become a predator, not because he is inherently violent, but becausehis energy was never taught to serve.

And yet, we often struggle to praise these roles unless they are softened by emotional vulnerability or care work. Why must a man be both a warriorand a nurturer to be validated?Isn’t the warrior valuable in his own right?

4. Social Influence: The Lost Initiation

"When rites disappear, rebellion takes their place."- THE SALIENTS®

Across cultures, boys became men through rites of passage - ceremonies that tested their endurance, courage, and integrity. Today, most young men move into adulthood with no direction. No initiation. No elders.

In the absence of rites, many turn to online influencers, gangs, or extreme ideologies to find meaning. Others drown in video games, porn, or substances. This isn’t a masculinity problem. It’s amentorship problem.

We need spaces - both literal and digital - where men can bechallenged, tested, and mentored into maturity. Not just told what not to do, but shown & led by example of what to become.

Today, our institutions no longer serve as reliable rites of passage. Universities, media, even corporate life - all have become hollowed out. That is, they retain the outer structure, but lack the inner soul. Where once they helped to form character, train discipline, and passed down core values, now they present credentials without any meaning, have become politicised and simply exist to ensure success for stakeholders, without any meaningful responsibility for the individual. That vacuum must be filled withparallel structures, where men can learn to bear responsibility, explore complexity, and find meaning outside of collapsing narratives.

Interestingly, men and women today are often pushed through the same social rites of passage: get an education and enter the workforce. But while this pathway might develop skills or status, it rarely addresses the gender differences and unique inner journey of manhood - the transformation from boy to protector, from ego to responsibility. A man’s rite of passage should speak to his nature: his hunger for challenge, structure, and sacred responsibility. Without that, he may achieve adulthood by age but remain directionless in soul.

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5. A Broken System: Economic Pressure and the Unfathered Psyche

"In a world with no safety net, speculation & lottery becomes survival." - THE SALIENTS®

Today's young men are not just economically strained - they're being raised into a dystopian version of adulthood. With rising living costs, unaffordable housing, and a lack of upward mobility, many feel they’ve been handed a broken system. In the absence of meaningful paths to stability, some are turning tohigh-risk speculation in stocks, crypto, - not out of greed, but out ofnecessity.

They aren’t trying to beat the system - they’re trying to escape it.

This speculative mindset isn't ambition. It’s desperation. When traditional milestones - home ownership, family leadership, safety and financial independence - seem out of reach, young men chase riskier alternatives in hopes of a breakthrough. But it’s not just money they’re after - it’sdignity and respect.

Many of these young men were also raised in homes withless disciplinary action and fewer consequences for unruly behaviour. Modern parenting trends, often driven by fear of being too “harsh,” have led to a generation of boys who weren’t trained in delayed gratification, risk assessment, emotional resilience or physical toughness. The discipline they never received at home, they now crave through chaos.

There’s also a psychoanalytic lens worth exploring here. In Freudian psychology, the absence of the “father figure” represents not just a missing parent - but the missing force ofstructure, boundaries, and initiation into adult responsibility. Without that force, the ego doesn’t integrate healthily - it fractures. What we see today in the 'manosphere', red/black pill rage, or nihilism isn’t random - it’s the result ofunfathered psyches grasping for identity in a fatherless culture.

Men are going through an existential crisis. And if we fail to see that, we’ll keep treating the symptoms while ignoring the causal wound.

6. Digital Humiliation: Where Masculinity is Mocked

"A man without purpose will look for identity in chaos."  - THE SALIENTS®

Beyond financial stress, another hidden force driving disillusionment is the world of digital humiliation - where social media, meme culture, and dating apps create a hypercompetitive environment that leaves many men feeling invisible and unwanted.

The rise of rage-bait content, especially aimed at men, is not accidental. Viral posts and memes, such as "6 feet tall, 6 figures, 6 inches" set impossible standards and mock the average man. Imagine the harm this does to young boys who now feel the pressure to accumulate a lifetime's worth of experience and resources before they turn 18. For young men already struggling with identity, social media has become a form of public shaming.

Dating apps worsen this effect. Studies show that a small percentage of men receive the majority of likes and attention, while the rest are largely ignored. This digital rejection feeds the belief that masculinity is worthless unless it meets extreme status, aesthetic or financial benchmarks. The algorithm becomes the judge, and most men are silently told: "You don’t matter and should be humiliated for it."

What’s dangerous is not just the rejection - but the lack of tools to process it. Without mentorship, values, or spiritual grounding, humiliation becomes rage. And rage, when left alone, seeks revenge or retreat - fueling the very online echo chambers and ideologies that society then blames and describes as radicalisation when the root causes are more structural in nature within our system.

The solution isn’t censorship or shame. It’s to restore dignity and structure, and remind young men that they’re not statistics in an algorithm. They're role matters in society - that they’re builders of legacies, sons of warriors, protectors in training. They have an important role to fulfil that requires building and self-belief.

To add to the complexity of it all,economic factors are adding to the disillusionment of young men. Many who gravitate toward red pill spaces or right-wing ideologies are not privileged - they’re often from poorer socioeconomic backgrounds or ethnic minority communities or both. These men feel economically disempowered, culturally abandoned, and increasingly irrelevant in a system that seems rigged against them.

A 2022 study by the Pew Research Center found that men who engage with online men’s rights and manosphere forums are disproportionatelyyounger, less educated, and more likely to be underemployed. Many come fromworking-class or economically strained backgrounds, and report feelings of isolation and frustration with their perceived lack of upward mobility. 

Through media, men are told they have privilege, yet can’t find meaningful work. They’re mocked for wanting to lead, but offered no clear role or path in society. With shrinking opportunities and rising isolation, the red pill becomes attractive - not because of hatred, but because it offersexplanation for their struggle and an identity to associate with.

When mainstream institutions stop speaking to men, especially working-class or minority men, they seek out communities that do. Unfortunately, this is also how extreme far-right ideologies gain ground over time: by offeringstructure, hierarchy, and purpose to those who feel forgotten.

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7. Sexual Disillusionment: Porn, Promiscuity, and the Lost Meaning of Intimacy

"A culture that commodifies intimacy forgets how to honour it."  - THE SALIENTS®

Social media hasn’t just mocked masculinity - it has commodified intimacy. Platforms like OnlyFans have shifted the power dynamic around sexuality. Where many men already feel invisible on dating apps, they now also face the emotional dissonance of watching women monetise intimacy at scale - creating parasocial relationships where validation & emotional connection must be paid for.

For young men who struggle with real-world confidence or connection, this commodification can breed confusion, resentment, or obsession. There's now a sense that human connection has become transactional and unattainable.

And at the core of this digital distortion ispornography. Most boys today are exposed to it during their most formative years - before their first kiss, date, or relationship. What was once an innocent exploration of sexuality and path to adulthood is now hijacked by a hyper-stimulating, digitally weaponised version of intimacy.

This is especially potent because men are heavily driven by sex - hormonally, visually, and neurologically. Pornography leverages that drive and weaponises it against them. It captures their attention, fragments their focus, and diminishes their motivation for real-world pursuit and connection. It teaches them that women are objects to consume, not souls to honour. It replaces the spiritual and emotional weight of sex with instant, dehumanised gratification.

Pornography reprograms the masculine brain. It numbs reward pathways, fuels unrealistic expectations, and over time subtly erodes a man's ability to bond whilst still allowing him to crave connection - a form of torture for young men. At its worst, it teaches boys that domination is intimacy, and that affection can only be earned through performance, power, transactions or even worse - by entitlement and force.

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8. Father Hunger and the Digital Father Figures

"If the father is absent, the algorithm will raise the boy."  - THE SALIENTS®

Behind many of the crises facing young men is one silent epidemic:fatherlessness. Boys who grow up without a consistent, strong male role model often struggle to develop identity, emotional regulation, and a healthy sense of masculinity.

In the United States, over 70% of youth in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes. Father absence correlates with higher rates of school dropout, substance abuse, violent crime, and suicide. This is not the fault of mothers but it's a recognition of what is missing:structured masculine energy passed from elder to youth.

With the traditional family unit breaking down and mentorship structures dissolving, young men are increasingly turning to the internet for guidance where increasingly messages can only go viral when accompanied by a sensationalist tone. Influencers like Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson, or other red pill commentators become digital father figures - not because they’re perfect representations of masculinity, but because they fill a vacuum.

Until society offers real, local, physical alternatives, the father hunger will persist - and continue to shape the future of masculinity.

What is often overlooked in discussions about male resentment is that it can also be directed inward - toward their own family, especially their mothers. In households marked by dysfunction, some boys come to view their mothers not only as unable to protect them from chaos but as contributors to it. This doesn’t stem from misogyny - it stems from unhealed pain. When a young man sees his mother enabling or tolerating dysfunction, or feels emotionally manipulated rather than guided, it can plant a seed of resentment that rots and develops into a generalised anger at women.

This pain is rarely addressed. In therapeutic settings, men are often encouraged to talk about absent fathers - but rarely do we allow space for the complexity of maternal wounds. If we want to reduce male resentment toward women, we need to be honest about where else that pain can begin - and create safe spaces for men to explore it with honesty, maturity and constructiveness.

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9. The Soft Male Ideal: Why Culture Fears the Warrior

"The world pretends to despise the warrior - until it needs him." -  THE SALIENTS®

In many progressive narratives, the "ideal man" has quietly shifted. He is cooperative, emotionally expressive, non-confrontational, and above all, soft. While there’s value in emotional intelligence, the problem arises whenmasculine virtues like courage, dominance, and ferocity are not just discouraged - but demonised.

We’re told men should be more sensitive, but rarely are they told to bemore resilient. We’re encouraged to teach boys to be kind, but seldom to bedangerous with discipline. This cultural imbalance breeds confusion, suppression of instincts and not harmony.

What’s ironic is that society turns to stoic, assertive men during disaster, war, and crisis - yet criticises those same traits in daily life. The warrior is disrespected in times of peace, but prayed for in times of chaos. We must stop punishing men for embodying the very traits that have stabilised the world during crisis.

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10. Strong Men Make Safe Women

"Masculinity, when noble, is a fortress - not a prison."  - THE SALIENTS®

Feminism has, in many ways, achieved necessary progress. But as we advance, we must be cautious not to frame masculinity as the enemy of womanhood. In truth,refined masculinity is one of the greatest gifts to women.

Strong men create safety - not just physically, but emotionally, socially, and spiritually. A man rooted in values protects his partner, leads his family, and creates stable environments for children to flourish.

Conversely, weak men - unmentored, unanchored, and resentful - become emotionally volatile, violent, manipulative, or passive. This is why masculinity must be cultivated, not erased.

True partnership isn’t found in sameness. It’s found inmutual respect between strength and softness, between masculine and feminine.

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11. Cultural War: Who Benefits from Weak Men?

"The erosion of masculinity is not progress - it is preparation for control." - THE SALIENTS®

There is a growing narrative that equates traditional masculinity with oppression. Yet history shows thatstrong, honourable men are the ones who sacrifice themselves for their families, communities, and causes greater than themselves.

So who benefits when men are passive, confused, and ashamed of their own nature? The answer is: no one - except those who want power without resistance.

Weak men don’t stand up to tyranny. They don’t challenge bad ideas. They don’t build families or defend the vulnerable. When you silence masculine virtue, you don’t get peace. You get chaos and a low-trust society.

And yet, it often feels like masculinity only becomes acceptable when diluted - as if male courage, leadership, or assertiveness must be balanced by a “softer side” in order to be deemed good. That’s not equality. That’s erasure.

Without alternative models of strength, disenfranchised young men will seek it wherever they can find it. If we don't offer those things in healthier, honourable forms, the vacuum will be filled by the extreme.

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12. Conclusion: The Rebirth of Masculinity

Masculinity isn’t toxic.Unrefined masculinity is.

The solution isn’t less masculinity - it’sbetter masculinity. Men need purpose, physical challenge, brotherhood, and discipline. They need to feel that their natural instincts have a place in this world - that they are not monsters, but protectors. That their strength can serve rather than destroy. That there is something good, sacred, and enduring that isworthy of their sacrifice.

We need to leave the "narrative trap" and speak truths others are afraid to say. Masculinity must be part of the great reintegration - not cast into exile. Becauseif men are not given something to build and a worthy cause, they will eventually destroy. Not because they are inherently violent, but becauseunchanneled strength becomes chaos.

Masculinity is not a trend to be discarded. It is a pillar of our civilisation. It must be remembered again and reborn in to modern society.

Let us raise men who are grounded, not lost. Dangerous, but disciplined. Strong, but safe. And above all - honourable.

And to every man reading this:

This world needs your strength. Not the kind that dominates, but the kind that builds. The kind that protects, that leads, that stands tall in the face of strange, turbulent times.

You are not a problem to be fixed. You are a foundation to be rebuilt.

Sharpen your body. Build your mind. Lead your home. Mentor those behind you. Be the man you needed when you were younger.

You are the builder of civilisation - and the keeper of its future.

Make Your Ancestors Proud!®